Learn From Digging Grounds

 Credits to Kwan Yi. We take time to realize and today reminded me to share thoughts.

 

 

 

To All Married Couples and To All Future Couples:

LOVE WHAT U ARE GIFTED WITH RATER THAN LOVING WHATEVER PASSING BY

 

 

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

 

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

 

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

 

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

 

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wifes divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

 

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking >from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

 

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: “I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart” ”

 

 

 

 

If we discovered that we only had five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them.

 -Christopher Morley

 

 

 

Happy Valentines Day.

Feeling: Exhausted

Soundtrack: Jack Johnson-Traffic In The Sky

For You From Me

I know it is up to down and in to out the rotting period right now.

 

You can strike a surprise visit to Emily’s house, only to find her spreading on top of her sofa like pieces of tuna watching endless The O.C; or you can checked into Ev’s around the corner room to find her standing firm on her bed with a broomstick on hand, singing the latest hit of American Idol by Renaldo Lapuz, I am your brother, your best friend forever… (seriously, watch it, we watch till Ev actually dropped down frm her chair heh) And if you ever need help on moaning lawn or washing filthy toilet OR someone to brush your teeth, do phone up them. Of course lah, you have to pay up a small amount of fortune, cause you are dealing with Emily and Ev here. They calculate money like dust.

 

And they will definitely say yes,

Cause they are THIS free. Plus Ev’s You Tube must-watch list is finished 3 days ago.

 

 

But ever since my last update on Heath Ledger, this within period had been the busiest moment of my life. In fact, I’m really not sure why the hell am I having this time to journal, with my mind surfing through endless thoughts trying to spot that missing hole of important memos, I might have just missed out an assignment just like that. Oh God.

 

And I am SO NOT over Heath Ledger yet!

Just wait till Chinese New Year and I shall do some serious playback. A few honorable mentions should be rewarded to the talented him instead of rumors. Yesh.

 

 

 

Okay back to point. Its been God Knows How Many days since I have been away from my computer so needless to say, from my journal. A LOT HAS FREAKING HAPPENED. I’ve been doing a lot of crazy stuff for the past two months. And I haven’t been spreading stories on that for some time. Eureka, point form word list here goes

- Went for the usual Subang Jaya teenagers hype trend, Genting Trip. But its Alas we did it thing. Just peeps and uhm one peeps boyfriend. And that was worth a 2 days of rotting process again, as we walk aimlessly around. Ate Pizza Hut and got stomach ache, Yee Keong actually slept in the toilet more than on the sleeping bag haha. Watched AVP2 and Oh My God Great God Lord whatever it is please save the human population and stopped them from watching shows like this, or even to produce them. Honestly, whats the whole point of this piece of crap I have no idea, me and Ev have totally no intention to even step in the cinema, but Emily and Yk insisted so badly. Fine lah we went in. At 1 in the morning. Not long after that, yes you think right-they went sleeping, and I guess perhaps this is something we had never and will never come across again, me and Ev actually watched with a disgusted screw up faces and body hold up as long as giraffe. I mean seriously people (no offence Sheun Yeow haha), whats with an alien coming down to earth, planted another bunch of as ugly as him alien, and then set off to play catching them?! Plus all night the only conversation we got was tsiek tsiek tsiek from that alien who possessed Red Indian hair. Untill the part of breeding eggs into pregnant lady’s stomach through their throat and made their fetus burst was just barbaric lah. Me and Ev literally made a Matrix motion of turning our head to each other with a Why-On-Earth-Are-We-Actually-Watching-This question marks in our eyes, and duh with Siew Ying sleeping nicely in between us. Talking bout AVP2, I remembered having this quirky thing going on:

 

-ev- says (9:45 PM):

Erm. Cause got naked ppl there in the American Gangster. i went outside nia den suddenly

 

-ev- says (9:46 PM):

POM

 

-ev- says (9:46 PM):

on d screen. mum n dad like o.o

 

zheng joo says (9:46 PM):

uh did they see u? are u tengah kena nagging now?

 

-ev- says (9:47 PM):

DUH. Noleh.dey eyes like O.O d now

 

zheng joo says (9:47 PM):

are they lookin at you in a dirty way now?

 

-ev- says (9:47 PM):

LOL. Noleh. i like WTH. Then faster go in room. So mum dad like..innocent gall

 

-ev- says (9:47 PM):

ahhh! LOL. i mean dats wad deir brain will tink leh

 

zheng joo says (9:48 PM):

…..

 

zheng joo says (9:48 PM):

wth hell lah u. if u innocent

 

zheng joo says (9:48 PM):

i dun have brain wan

 

zheng joo says (9:48 PM):

and emily dun exist

 

-ev- says (9:48 PM):

Wth. LOL. eh eh where got such ting k

 

-ev- says (9:48 PM):

LOL u dam funny

 

-ev- says (9:49 PM):

em dun exist  -WTH. lolz!

 

zheng joo says (9:49 PM):

YEALAH CAUSE SHE EDI INNOCENT LIKE SHIT

 

zheng joo says (9:49 PM):

but very noisy innocent lah

 

-ev- says (9:49 PM):

LOL ahahaha

 

zheng joo says (9:49 PM):

see abit of breast, YEAAARRRRR

 

-ev- says (9:49 PM):

TRUE TRUE:YERRRR. LOL

 

-ev- says (9:49 PM):

we like: SHUT UP LAH.

 

-ev- says (9:49 PM):

kleh not dat bad leh LOL

 

zheng joo says (9:49 PM):

homg u should be there lah that day when me and emily watch 40 years old virgin. DAMN BLARDY HELL LONG EDI SUMMORE ALL PORN WAN

 

-ev- says (9:50 PM):

LOL LOL LOL

 

zheng joo says (9:50 PM):

Emily jaw down all time

 

-ev- says (9:50 PM):

She sure waaaa. LOLZ

 

zheng joo says (9:50 PM):

then she said it is MING ZHONG ZHU DING that whenever she is with us everything is porn. wth rite. i wanted to watch chocalate factory at 1st but she go choose her self that show

 

-ev- says (9:50 PM):

LOL. where got such tings!!! d time in genting we watch no porn wan arh!

 

zheng joo says (9:51 PM):

LOL thats cause yk is there

 

-ev- says (9:52 PM):

aahahah wth where got such tings wan!

 

-ev- says (9:52 PM):

mayb d alien is considered porn lah hor. d sexual reproduction method, thru mouth wan, den babies pop up thru stomache LOL

 

zheng joo says (9:52 PM):

HONG YESSSS AVP2. WE ARE ACTUALLY WATCHING ALIEN HAVING SEX

 

-ev- says (9:52 PM):

EXACTLY WEI and we human are like d medium man!

 zheng joo says (9:53 PM):

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Ev shaddap, medium…wth

 -ev- says (9:53 PM):

LOL. ahahah considered mah. we like d sacrifice ppl. d most stupid wasn is d first two kena killed punya leh.like suddenly revived. i tot got hope, den die again. WTHHHHH

 

 

We are deprived of being productive two months ago. You don’t wanna come anywhere near us.

        

 

More pictures, Click here:

Playing Checkers while waiting for ze bus. Very no life. Proof: Look at Ev.

Reached. Starbuck-ing while Em and Yk joinned the long queue.

 
They came back. And stoned.

 

Ev’s the eating god. No she did not just took one grape. She by far finished four dishes already.

Pizza Hut. Cause of Stomach Ache. And duh Ev eating again. Africa really should bann her.

Stomach Ache laah.

- Sweeney Todd is a freaking awesome movie! Johnny Depp’s voice was a clear string of freshness and soul feeding, with a slothful taste of sadness and emptiness. Absolute Brilliance. Oh God he should be done with an album. But nah course he would not have done that, he’s the King of Weird. And King of Weird don’t produce some trashy for commercial sake album. Pray him get an Oscar for this, cause it is well deserved. And no I am yet to watch a lorry of films, due to the pre notice busyness. I wanna watch Clover field and Atonement badly. And Juno. And Cashback. And Gone Baby Gone. And Awake. And Across The Universe.

 

 

- Metrodad has been a good read. (Extracted)

“Disney Princesses are terrible role models. This was, by far, my biggest issue with the princess dolls. Look, I know that it’s absurd to think of a plastic piece of crap as being a role model for my daughter but the fact is that, in Disney’s case, the doll is a representation of a character. So let’s take a look at those characters. Most of them spend half their time in captivity or in a coma, waking up only when a prince comes along and kisses them. The only ones who are exceptions to this are Mulan and Pocahontas. Hell, Mulan has to dress up as a boy to fight in the army and Pocahantas lacks full princess status. Also, many of the princess tales celebrate the ugly duckling scenario of overnight transformation. That, in and of itself, would not be that big of a deal. The problem is that none of the princesses actually “work” to achieve their transformations. Sleeping Beauty is a victim. Snow White’s greatest feat of courage was dusting. And as someone once said, Cinderella essentially gains all her power through the good will of a magical floating Angela Lansbury look-alike. Now, I’m no feminist but it’s pretty clear to me that Disney princesses tend to belittle the efforts that women have made in terms of achieving gender equality on their own terms and with their own efforts. “

 

Ha ha ha. But eh I still like Disney. Don’t assume.

 

  

 

-Siew Yings open house had been heaps of fun. This is a must mentioned cause she moved to some land we totally got lost at. Lesson learned. Next time no more asking Jiyung to fetch go and Qihan to fetch back. Next time around, Chan Siew Ying have to do the honors. Hoho.

           

 

 

   
  

- I have finally found something worth in me cause all these while I am one darn hell stupit being alive- I BLARDY HELL PASS MY DRIVING TEST. Eureka! Seriously I have no idea how did that happen and am still trying to figure out the math. Cause I actually passed at the first attempt. And for that, I am pregnant with such words down,

 

My unsupportive dad: Har?! How can you actually passed?! Cant believe you passed blah blah blah.

 

Roger (driving instructor): HAAAAR YOU PASSED AHH?! (Insert a max volume here)

 

Amir: HOMGAWD YOU PASSED. No one passed the 1st attempt but you pass.

 

Emily : #@$#%^$^  and congrats . haha.

 

Ev: Congrats! Haha Emily went for 3 times, I twice, you should only need one time lah fella.

 

I really don’t know how did I passed. All I did was talking to myself most of the time and just do what I am supposed to do. Although the scope part was utter disastrous. People pressed on clutch to restart the car, I pressed on break. Then people go down the scope rightly and get out of the car to sign their sign, but I opened the car door and pull down the side plastic thingi attached to the car. JPJ dude asked: Apatu ah?!  I answered: Tak tau. And hide in under the seats. Thank God Joyce manage to tag along. OKAY point is I passed. There was this girl who started her on road test with a perfect condition kancil but came back with a missing piece of the back mirror and a squashed on the back. Apparently a huge ass lorry bang on the kancil. And magically they still survived, although it is obvious that the JPJ dude was walking shaking. That should gave him a fright and perhaps then he would realize that life’s short and that he should forge himself to quit the shameful sin of collecting bribes. ISH.  And uh I still don’t dare to drive yet. Told ya I have no idea how the hell I passed. But Emily and Ev are getting their car pretty soon! Halelujjah. I would so make them drive me around even if I might get killed. (Molesting my license while jotting this hah) 

- I cut my hair. Yes, again. Please make it a habit of viewing this matter normal as the raining season in Malaysia. As usual, I slept through when the hairdresser started on his artwork. Not that my description on the hairstyle matter anyway. It’s abit bob this time around. I am not sure weather to like it or not. But ahh whatever lah. They will grow anyway

 

 

- John Mayer’s Clarity drives me nuts, creating much summer diversion.

 

 

 

 

- Yess, The One Academy talk now. First of all, I missed FICM people siiigh. And now, The One Academy had been a blast. I’d never learned such honestly in my entire life before, you have my word. Although I am barely even breathing or taking time to realizes which pair of shoes have I worn. The assignments are pouring in like a never ending ocean of time. At times, I would pulled up strangle looking upon the marking board only to find a few A’s amongst those zillionth of B+ and D-.

 

I just have to keep telling myself that I would be okay. Because I am really working my ass off.

 

At times, I am getting more and more used to locking up myself in the room and lying on the bed, just to stare at things. I would stare hard and harder on the familiar white ceiling and the spinning fan. I haven’t even been doing proper sleeping for the past few weeks. Yet, I am loving all the stuff I created. Do you get the feeling? I shall get better, I guess.

 

Okay so heavy dose of assignment, checked. Not only that, I had to reached campus at 7 when my class only started at 10.30 cause transportation issue. There’s no more Su’s and Fleur’s hse for me to tumpang at, and I have to do absolute NOTHING at the front door everyday. A front door with a front floor and zero chairs. That’s the absolute bad part and one of the contributions on my sleepiness everyday. My class’s CD081-3, no more FICM Jan. My ID’s 0801078, no more 0701K61273. People now call me Monitor cause I am freaking one (Don’t ask why and how) and no more Zay-J cause theres this dude in my class that declares himself as J-Zee. Haha.

 

And I have to admit, my Class Advisor(CA) Way Chuan is kinof cool lah. He’s a great artist, gether with Khai Koon the tutor, and he has the ability to crack jokes without a single smile on his face. His most recent quote, I like the girl cause she look like the moon, and I am a spoon. How to relate ah? Moon, Spoon, Moon Spoon, ahh back to class. Crazy Random. Anyhoo. I have subjects on Design 1, Finished Art, History of Art, Figure Studies, Drawing and hmph English. Design 1 is a design conceptual class where they teach the basic of design mindset, which is Dots Drawing, as some of you are informed. Dots then create Lines, which is another assignment awaiting. Computer design software like Photoshop and Illustrator are also taught through this subject. Finished Art is all bout careful detail works, basically stuff like how to make your artwork presentable. Therefore we are doing quite a number of cut and paste, drawing grid system, and currently building box. Quite killing sometimes. I mean in here, you cant do cut and paste like some trashy examples back then in kindy garden, with all those remaining glues drying up everywhere. In here, everything is about measurement, accuracy and neatness. People like Tah Eve Lynn, I suggest you stay 5 feet away frm this one haha. History art would be history lah duh. Figure Studies is conducted by my CA and a pretty interesting subject. Very interesting in fact. We have got to study on human figure, their bone structure, flesh, proportion, shape of the eyes nose ear lips blah blah, and tons of practicing. In 3 years time, I should be able to draw out whomever I like, like those professional exhibitions you can see. We’ll see. Drawing would be the practice of free drawing on objects. This class’s uber fun, honestly. All we need is a drawing board and a standing holder with a stool. Then we draw free hand on those boards. Like what you see in films lah. Fantastic. We learned on shadowing, outline, and lot more.

 

Art Studies is a lot more complicated than you think, probably even tougher than math okay.

 

Also, my whole life seems to be tied on together with VERY LOUD CLASSES. First, 5C with Bay in it. Then, Ficm. Now CD0801-3. All as loud as trumpet. Haha. Meant to be lah. Good thing I am no deaf yet. Classmates detail next time round .

 

I SHALL SURVIVE. Must.

My Chinese New Year is evaporating cause quite a number of assignment just sign up to me. T_T

One of them would be collecting super cool angpau design. That’s the way how the lecturer put it-SUPER COOL. So people, mail me if you have any, pretty please?
    
                                                                 Home (Dots Drawing) by Me.

    
                                                          Broadway (Lines Drawing) by Me.

And Happy Belated Burpday to Tah Eve Lynn. 

Thanks for being the bestest pal.
May you be blessed with heaven of food everyday.

Sleep Less.

Start Driving for godsake.

Eat Less. Seriously.

 

 

Clean your bag. 

Love cable car. Heh.

  

Okay Happy Chinese New Year!

Bye bye.

 

Feeling: Dong Dong Chiang. Festive.
Soundtrack: The Less- Pieces