For Always

Faded like an old and soft brown photograph, we still remained here somehow.

We strains to make some sense of all the colors among a haze of grey.

Happy 51st Anniversary, Malaysia.

Purgation

New semester started. Promises of updating portfolio, long planned movie marathon of heart warming felt good films, Oh, sod it-of everything stagger back to the ground floor of my memory again. I am so caught up with nothing which left my modesty kind of a sore. It’s like back then the first day of holiday, I have sorted out my priority and that nothing will change it, ever. And then ahoy here I am rushing through Figures Studies thanks to the tragedy that brought me here,

Two plentiful weeks of suspected Denggi attempt-my worst fever, ever.

So I guess I didn’t really stick to my words. My bad.

The nerves I had, to even volunteer for the International CG Convention art exhibition thing organized by The One Academy as their student helper. It was fun, bitchy, leg spoiler and thoughtful. It was everything. Its either I’m still abit of the naïve or that two faced woman’s being pure bitch. See how this get to my nerves, people who are close to me should know that I never intended to announce one as the term bitch in a journal. But this is too much of handling. And that was one part of the event that was a total turn off.

Tell me, is it totally obligatory to speak your point of views for the sake of creating some pointless dramas instead of speaking a straight point of your views? Okay imma finished up the stories dahulu. I was stationed in the life drawing demonstration area during the 1^st day and to assist Senior Helper say, A and B (I’ll just try to keep things simple by letters.) And they were awfully nice and pleasant guiding me my role and the demonstrator just so happened to be Way Chuan, the figures studies lecture that creates wonders with his fingers. Everything is nice and order under one roof wtf.

Okay what the heck so cheong hei. Right however, the demonstration was leg killers as we stood from 9 till 9. Dig me? Its standing motion and walking around action we were dealing with over there. And all I did was catching breathe by tucking my ass on the floor. And here comes Senior C, from god knows where like she just popped out from the ground so silently, marching towards me saying,

“Uh harlow.You are supposed to turn over the life drawing already-used sketch pad before the next session started yadda yadda”

To which I kindly replied answers within two facts,

-I DID NOT received any clear orders from my by right seniors A and B. And who the heck are you woman C from some Lalaland here to give random orders?!

-A and B also wired me this way of dealing with those sketching pads, where I wasn’t supposed to turn those drawings over until there’s another tryout by the visitor, just so that it could also served as public display purposes, hello?!

Which part of my language named English don’t you understand?!

And fine if you insisted so badly just for your sake of image and feeling powerful after some ordering, I shall do it then, BUT THAT’S AFTER MY BREAK TIME LAH.

Which is also what I replied you politely.

And what on earth C did?! She vanished into thin air to god knows where and came back after approximately 10 minutes with that huge glaring roll over eyes, turning over me routinely after turning over every sketching pad and then stood in the middle of the subway waving innocently towards one direction and then tadah you get D, the red flaming hair tomboyish woman who walks like aunty. And I wasn’t even slurring a word to anyone and she came marching over to me after C moan rant to her like couples of lesbian you find in Holland, whispering into her ear.

“Erm I heard that you just ignore whatever C informed you to do. I hope you understand that she was The One working here yesterday, so whatever she says you must follow. Summore she is your senior. You do not talk back to her.”

TALK BACK! I even smiled like that invisible cat of Alice in The Wonderland while replying her. I mean, how the heck am I supposed to know that she worked here yesterday, neither did I know who the heck is that after I get the orders from A and B.

Now I really bet they were lesbians.

So I debated, like Su ever wished I did on the whole “fighting my rights” issue, and to where she ends to a final sentence, which is think that’s when she couldn’t understand my point of facts anymore cause I was talking bout self righteous already.

“The point is, next time when a senior ask you to do, YOU DO and you just agree and follow. Don’t Talk Back.”

WTF. NOW I WANTED TO BITCH SLAP HER.

I should have, but instead I just said coolly, We will see bout this when Way Chuan gets back.

And then she put her hand around C and they walk off, like 2 aunties who just won in a bargain battle in pasar malam.

I was enraged with anger until the point when Way Chuan got back and asks me what happened, I kept quiet.

And just kept sticking the charcoal repeatedly in the box.

And he knew what the heck were going on. Okay he does wonders with sixth sense too, by helping me to clear up the stuff.

The next day, I was changed 3 times on different positions all thanks to C doing her ear whispering moment again to the marketing people. And so, she was back to Life Drawing part, and I was placed in the exhibition area.

AND SHE FREAKING GOT LOST AFTER ONE SESSION AND I HAVE TO SPREAD THE TISSUE AROUND WITH B TO THE VISITOR WHILE SHE WANDERED OFF INFRONT ACTING IMPORTANT JUST CAUSE SOME FAMOUS CHINA COMIC ARTIST WERE GIVING HIS SPEECH ALONG TOGETHER WITH THE OTHER SENIORS. CAN YOU BELIEVE HER?!

*IMMA SCREAMS TO TINY AND ZHIKANG*

This is when I was overcome with disbelief and anger.

And we all the tactless juniors were the one controlling the crowds at the rest of the exhibition. PUHLEASE LAH.

If this is the way one handle an event, you guys can hang yourselves lah, I will provide ropes. The brain function should be trench into hell alongside with the Josef Fritzl case that spent 24 years raping her daughter.

Honestly I am so much more in love with the strangers amongst crowd rather than the seniors’ crews whatever. Can I say I love you to the strangers just because they so deserve it with that light hearted random smile they threw me with?

Okay end of rant. I hope she never makes her days in this field, and develop her new identity in the nanny field.

Other than that the event was pretty well. I met lecturers duh, and more of the funny side of lecturers. Tatson Hoi gave me an encouraging smile twice. Khai Koon was being modesty when I was mentioning tons of his artwork around the exhibition. Lisa being extremely concern about my leg situation. Candice gave me a warm smile twice. Way Chuan who talks crap gether-gether. Tiny lending me his ears for my endless rants. Zhikang as secuirity poor him. Met CHAN SIEW YING! And Jade. And many more till the extend I forgot. Oh yeah and a bunch of not so senior seniors. They were bunch of a great company. That’s bout it.

All I can do now is to watch Grey’s Anatomy. Meredith sums up better than I do.

“We like to think that we are rational beings; humane, conscientious, civilized, thoughtful. But when things fall apart, even just a little, it becomes clear we are not better than animals. We have opposable thumbs, we think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream, but deep down we are still routing around in the primordial ooze; biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold, dark world like the rest of the tree-toads and sloths ”

-Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy.

There are some things we can never change. Even when it keeps biting onto your ass. All I can do is to think of greater things to achieve. Yet how to? All these attitudes grow on me and freaking eating me up.

Hoyeah Happy Mothers Day to my mum whose driving skills would allege her as a legal F1 racer anytime.

Right, I cant go on any longer, first class was great. Candice is awfully sweet and all I can say is she’s deeper than all lecturer I have seen, that by all mean is referring to she will be able to freaking understand my thoughts on everything. Coolies. I am still struggling with that inner disappointment of my results last term. And laying a thoughts on more sleepless night I am to deal with this semester, I will be sticking hard to Meredith’s say.

“Great surgeons aren’t made. They’re born. It takes gestation, incubation, sacrifice. A lot of sacrifice. But after all the blood and guts and gooey stuff is washed away, that surgeon you become: totally worth it.”

-Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy.

Its pretty much the same thing.

Oh god I just realize I haven’t even summarize a thing on Sem 1. What a failure blogger I am. I am seriously posting up stuff next post. Here’s a small preview on my first Figures Studies assignment. You’ll see my progress when I post up ALL of them.

p/s Jason Mraz and Coldplay’s album’s LEAK. Amen. Jason Mraz fea James Morrison was the best thing that ever happens. Listen to their Details In The Fabric

Art ask questions. Designs solve a problem. –Candice, Design 2 Lecturer.

Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop
Doesn’t mean I will cross

Soundtrack:Coldplay-Lost Feeling: Bound to Be

The Pink Thing

I shall update on The Pink Thing before getting back to my figures studies. Perhaps if I ever accomplished those 6 pieces of figures on time then I could update on My Portfolio section and the endless pictures of life in The One Academy here.

Then there was me, the art and the farewell. Oh how I have missed the air of TCPJ, the preparation of getting through Orientation Night by Student Council and Fleur’s VERY POWERFUL rawring. I really treasured those memories much. But glad to see Winnie’s running madly with Fleur nowadays :0)

The next time round someone sees me in an Orientation Dinner; I doubt they will ever come near me again. Must be thinking I am some sort of sober Orientation lover who never grows up.

And of all fun things The One Academy are socially good at would be like…

Nothing. Scratch that. It is all bout professionalism and sleepless night.

I missed tons of events that are ever-changing everyday in the courtyard.

So yeah The Pink Thing, had a blast. Performances were great and even better.

Here’s something for you to feast your eye on. I self grabbed pictures from everywhere so thank you berry much for those whose pictures got stolen wtf.

The Pink Thing! Official Poster designed by Winnie Loo. Pretty aite?

And they generated this devil balloon majingi and Awww the whole day, from what I’ve heard hah. Oh, and named it Danielle. Right?! Okay any error here no blowing rocks at me thank you.

When I reached. Me. Winnie. Fleur.

Its all set up. So I only helped in abiiiiiiit of stage managing and usher hoho but before that we took limited picture.

Fleur. Max.

It was nice meeting Max again although he still barks at me. Japenese sheesssh.

Ash. Fleur.

Me resting on the tombstones while taking this awesome picture. The whole pink glowing thing. And yeah, Ash’s face…

Us Again. Sorry to bore you with our faces but at that point of time really nothing to do :/

I like this picture threeeeee.

:)

Jason. Fleur.

Groupies.

Kent. Lish!. Miss T. Amir. Me. Winnie. REUNION! :D Eh Lish you still owe me Starbucks k must meet up!

Syaf being NORMAL. Seriously I know all you can reflect in your eyes right now would be psycho in a boxer. But this is already counted normal rate.

GEOFFREY YEOW! Okay uncle I cant wait no more for your sending picture deal. I am possibly allied to Denggi and I need my sleep hokay haha. So yeah ini Mr Charming and Chick Magnet. And this is him posing with his eldest brother Ludwig Yeow. He performed that night as well. They practically grew up together in Sarawak. That rose was presented to his bro later on stage aww damn sweet right?!

:D

Harmini. Surekha. Very Hawt Yiiindian.

Sorry Harmini for stealing :/ Su asked me to make sure you don’t come after me with a bamboo stick.

Performances! Random Ramblings!

Mia Palencia. She is super gooood. I forgot to get a copy of her demo aiks.

Frequency Cannon! They are super friendly, honestly, with thank you and greetings all way long. Sorry Steph dont have an image of them here so i am taking this :) And Yuri’s sports car would make Raymond jump 5 feet tall. Potential to cause deaf haha.

And Last but not least, the performer that I am supposed to assist on-Bus Company. And I thought the only time on listening to their stuff was through their myspace haha. Sad. But gleefully I assisted them and boy they are talkative lah. Okay maybe the lead singer, Sam only. But they are very nice people. So next time you bump in to them on the road just wave. You will get at least three waves back, seriously.

And this is funny. Cause theres no flash, So one cant really capture Darren the drummer and a tremendous beatboxer in the picture. He merajuk until we got it right.

Okay Tadah happy ending.Jason(emo).Dionne.Dionne’s Friend :/. Me. Fleur. Steph. Sam. Darren (BC)

Okay I give up damn tired edi. Picture post shall end here.

It was HEAPS OF FUN. Siigh sigh why cant TOA be built beside TCPJ?!

-Okay I am getting my blood test results. I just sincerely hope that no Denggi involved anytime soon. Like damn it okay, everytime I have something important to do, things like these strikes. Damn freaking irritating.

-Congrats to Fleur the women for passing her driving test haha. Your message yesterday was repeatedly HOMG HOMG I PASSED. Clearly portrayed.

-The Star Scholarship called, after bazillions years of hoping! Interview on Friday and HOMG I am damn freaking nervous. Tips on good interview, anyone?

-Why is The Other Boleyn Girl not showing in any single theater??! RAWR. And I heard that it is banned in Malaysia. What is wrong with the government body lah park yourself at home nothing to do simply banns people’s wonderful piece of artwork. I am so freaking gonna smile back someday when they call Malaysian monkeys the next time round. This is utmost unacceptable binding the people’s perception. And then we have to watch it through pirated DVDs. And then here comes another stupid campaign on urging us to stop piracy. PATHETHIC IRONY. You guys are the main cause for all this crap okay.

Aku Sangat Geram. :(

Feeling: Sick.

Soundtrack: Sara Bareilles-Fairytales

Cinderella’s on her bedroom floor she’s got a Crush on the guy at the liquor store Cause Mr. Charming don’t come home anymore and she forgets why she came here.

Sleeping Beauty’s in a foul mood for shame she says None for you dear prince, I’m tired today. I’d rather sleep my whole life away than have you keep me from dreaming

Snow White is doing dishes again cause what else can you do With seven itty bitty men? Sends them to bed and she calls up a friend, says will you meet me at midnight.

The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair I’ll have to find another tower somewhere and keep away from the windows.

Say

___________________________________________

 

There you go. Right now I have got it all figured out. My future and stuff. And because of this major change that would most probably be happening, life doesn’t suck that much anymore. Although Donald Trump would have wished me good luck for the sake of dying in a more peaceful way( my future), at least I’m pretty sure that Natalie Portman would congrats me for finding the things I love in my own backyard that I have long hidden. And I am happy knowing that John Mayer would most probably agree too.

 

 

“I don’t want to ever be working just for money because then you are no different than a prostitute,”

so did Portman said.

 

I would most probably be transferring to The One Academy.

The place I once buried so much faith and passion in it, the place that I always feel the divine feeling guiding me towards art, designing, film. and so much more. Even though I ended up in Mass Comm. due to financial problem, I still try to think of it as a miraculous combination and crave for my passion. Now that the scholarship department are yet to informed me that my scholarships qualification does not include Multimedia Design but only Journalism and Communication in Media Management. What? For the sake of mankind’s greatest achievement, No Way I am going into that.

 

And this time, its hard to believe that I insisted for this long.

 

Stayed firm with my beliefs much more stronger than the 1st time when I was fighting my way through with family to NOT study in Mass Comm., as if this was my final straw. Now look where I stand. My dad actually agrees. Not completely-still thinking, but hell yeah thinking. However, with more blunts and blinks to risk on. Financial problem still existed, duh. For that, my dad could only support me for a complete 3 years Diploma. And from there onwards, I would be completely on my own.

 

On my own two feet. For real, six feets from the edge On My Own. Its either I worked with my very own portfolio or I earned a scholarship itself to pursue on degree overseas. The skies suddenly screened out much more wider than usual. I realize I am evolving into a completely original human history where  thoughts occur one instant and action occurs at the very next. And it won’t stop there. I mean, I have already completed the task to actually fought for what I want. The future generations: the children, will eventually grow into an even more complex society and dream even bigger dreams. And there would be no single one to stop them.

So why should I continue stopping myself before even doing something I really wish I were doing?

Why do we?

 

I’m happy to take the risk. I’m happy being me again for the past few years, this would be the very Moment, for the first time. I’m happy doing this one thing that I’m aware of never it feels like that.

This could be the very minute
I’m aware I’m alive
All these places feel like home

With a name I’d never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25

This is the straw, final straw in the
Roof of my mouth as I lie to you
Just because I’m sorry doesn’t mean
I didn’t enjoy it at the time
-Chocolate-  Snow Patrol

 

 

Just because I’m happy on moving on, doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it at the time.

Here I went through a roller coaster ride with FICM for a blink of an eye, and life had been wonderful.

I wished you all well, just in case I am really leaving. Go achieve big and great things, even if it only cost a few clouds and breeze who cared to stop by and watch. Good Luck and Good Night.

 

JUST IN CASE. Dont bug me with it yet.

For the Student council prom,

As for Student Prom, really nothing much. I shall let pictures get busy then. Just a small FYI, me, Fleur and Jason get to eat the amount of 12 adults meal for free, because they picked us to share tables with the emcee and the light & sound fellows. Obviously the table only contained 3 of us smiling sheepishly. Yallelujah.

As for Why did I wore LIKE THAT. They informed me that my job was ushering. USHER. That would be appropriate enough for ushering purpose. And the sandals were for comfortable pleasure, yealah this one my fault. You should have been there to see the glares at me. Typical. What? Who sets legal rule stating that Punkish rock style are not allowed in Prom? I can even wear naked there if I want. Period. 

One more reasons to let Alicia go on with her “Zheng Joo is a bimbo” theory. :) 

                                             FICM. I am officially a guy that night.

 
                                                              Black & White Blending.

 
                                             Take Two. Notice how many phones am i carrying.

                                      Student Council. See its just 3 of us sapu-ing food.

                                                                   Girls. Deb looked wow.

 
          Ahah this group singing, all they did was, “Uhuh, yeah, yo, yo, yo,…” Like that nia.

                                                                   Mun Suet

 
                                                                            Don

 
                                                         Shannon. Look at my sunburn.

                                                   I like this picture. Evon, Jason and Alice.

                    
                                               Jesslyn! She damn cute and i like that dress. 

                     
                                    No needa introduce this dah. I freaking wearing sandals. 

                     
                                                And lastly, the sunburned partner, Fleur.

Listening to: Augustana-More Than A Love Song

Happy Hari Jadi

 

APPY 18TH BURPDAY

LESLEY TAN SUWEN

 

She’s the fairy tale pink flavored Ice Cream.

 

Who is patience enough for my ridiculous question on Chemistry back then.

I asked, “Why lah like that” everyday mind you.

Twice an hour.

 

Thus Ev gave up on me and retired. The job was passed on to Lesley. :)

 

 

 

Take care and score well in A levels finals, which you always do.

We shall have a story session later in Genting.

 

***

 

And hello people. Long rants will be up soon.

At least until I finalize my last sentence of my Magazine review.

 

 

 

Listening to: Gabrielle-Sunshine

Cause i think i know

 Happy Birthday,

September besties
:Chan Siew Ying

We will celebrate like this until we are old or something. Only us. And one day we will again be writing awfully long crap speech within the limited space of a funny looking birthday card somewhere around a corner. And gather at 65 years old for kidney checkup. We so rock! :)        *edited:Also to NG QIHAN and NG CHO MING. I think both your burpday coming up too. Haha so eh qi, you are also buying that self claimed “very expensive cake” for yourself too okay.Heh.

 

 

September hunks
My Adopted Father
: Amir Baharrudin

Its been awesome fooling around with you. Heh. Listening to your ENDLESS craps and stories. And I havent even know you for one year! Owh and dude you still have to find me my 18th century guy. PART OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITY OKAY. Thanks for listening to my craps at times that happens to be crapper than your craps. Like now. Cheers.

 

The Ultimate Easy Going
: Syafiq Roslan

My loner gang member. :) Who climb endless stairs setiap hari which I coudnt figured out WHY until these very days. Who well, stay true to himself since the very beginning and being a rocker! Thanks for awesome songs and HOYAH before I forgot, for being the only gentleman who will only leave class as the last person cause he was to hold up the door for us.

 
 
The Joker
: Robin Stanley (I forgot liao)

Robin’s the only human left on earth who can crack jokes like 45 times a day none stop without realizing it. With that “complicated” mind of his, he is turning 20 which is abit old. But I think he will remained fooling around like a 2 years old until god knows when. AND his squeky voice, his and only his.:)

 

The Laughing Machine
: Geoffrey Yeow

Hello! okay this dude LAUGH like theres no tomorrow at every single damn rants you can find around. Dance on Monday-Sing on Tuesday-Slapping each other with Jason on Wednesday-Posing around with movies quotes on Thursday-and Friday holiday! Haha. Damn colorful life sial.:)

The Blurest Ever
: Loo Yee Keong( did i spell that correctly?!)

Who celebrate his burpday few years back when World Trade Building kena bomb. Take care and appreciate every single one of them around you. You know which woman I am talking bout. Eat more oily stuff to provoke the growth of your zits and make someone happy.:) Heh. And no, I would never dream of forgetting the only sole reason of you staying away from me during the whole high schools years – because I AM SCARY. To you. What crap lah. Owh and judging by his wake up-looks you wouldnt believe he carrys deep thoughts blended with writing of complexity. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

***

Plain White T’s-Let Me Take You There

Just press the God damn Play and listen to them.
I just found out this song and its heavenly good. Not pretty good but heavenly. 

Its been a pale september for me. 

I have been thinking alot, mind you. Despite the fact that its a clear vision for people around me to compile a conclusion that I am instead in a right pathway towards where I am destined to go, I still gives a doubt bout that. I wanna be an art director women, who walks towards her working agency like every single day on a busy street with a revealing background of New York City, feeling the accidental-like floating on a breeze, reaching the tiny spacious working place of mine that reflects sunshine from every direction you could barely imagine, and have a bit of creative brainstorm session with fellow partners, be it with a Starbucks on hand or laugh endlessly and learn brand new stuff. I wanna learn bout film studies so badly, and taking artsy photographs every single day at every direction and corner of the world. Every perspective and angles. And most importantly, looking back on this journey one day later, without a single clue on regretting it. I am in Mass Comm. Somehow its a risky choice to take in order to reach my above destiny, but hey, at least I am holding close to my own dreams and worked hard enough for it. I choose to do what I like and traveled up and down on my passion, ignoring hard on my parents quote: “ Face it will you?! You cant choose what you LIKE to do in todays society, but to do SOMETHINGthat would help you maintain a good life! How many times do I have to tell you…” I have cried and struggled through financial problem and swore to myself so badly yet firm, that I will do whatever it takes to reach my goal eventually someday, as quoted by YeeWeng, the dude from Dare to Dream, 8TV who went through almost everything I am going through right now; who felt so poor at the beginning not because of jobless-poor but for being alone and just merely alone in the New York city; who went on crying at every single hardship yet stayed strong; who follow beats of his hearts.

Who is an art director at this very moment.

So I hope that choosing Mass Comm and eventually Multimedia Design next year will take me where I craved to be.

Delivering me to be doing inspirational advertisement.

Like those by Petronas. So artful that it distinct life.

—-

Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you’re gonna be?
Forrest Gump: Who I’m gonna be?
Jenny Curran: Yeah.
Forrest Gump: Aren’t-aren’t I going to be me?

—-

P/S Shamini here goes my update on my crappy rants.:) Heh. 

Feeling: 

Listening to: Avril Lavigne-Hot